Why I Feel Better These Days.

One of the consequences of growing up in an alcoholic home, is that I never think I’m good enough. In fact, if you went inside my head, you’d hear a constant tape of all the reasons I don’t measure up: “I did this wrong, I forgot to do that, I didn’t do this soon enough, people probably think I’m neurotic.” Needless to say, this makes me nuts.

Al-Anon says, “If you don’t like a behavior, start doing the opposite.”

So about fifteen years ago I began a practice of thinking five good things about myself a day. Back then I had trouble thinking anything good about me. It all felt like a lie, even evil: “I’m being narcissistic.”

But Jesus said you have to look at the fruits. The more I thought nice things about myself, the more I was kind, confident, loving, altruistic, and I was a lot less depressed.

Here are the rules:
* If I’d beat myself up for NOT doing something, I get to praise myself every time I do do it.
* It's okay to think the same thought multiple times.***
* If during my daily “praise time” I think anything bad about myself, I have to come up with five more good things.
* Every day I pick one positive thing and write it down in a little book, to use on the days I can’t think of anything.
* Ever so often I increase the number of good things. (These days I can usually rattle off 100 at a time.)

Nowadays I do this six times a day: when I get up, at 10, 12, 2, 5 and at bedtime. At the same time I also pray and meditate for about a minute.

A RECENT LIST, ABBREVIATED:

1. I remembered to send my brother a birthday card.
2. Today I took time to stop and smell the daffodils.
3. I ate salad for lunch instead of a milkshake.
4. I sent my manuscript to an editor.
5. Before mailing I proofread the manuscript about ten times.
6. I asked my daughter, in a loving way, to remove her laundry from the spare bedroom bed.
7. I save pinecones from our yard and give them to a kindergarten teacher for crafts.
8. I joined an exercise class.
9. I felt self-conscious in my exercise class; then realized nobody’s watching me--we’re all just a bunch of middle-aged women having fun exercising.
10. I made the bed this morning.
11. I praised myself for making the bed this morning.
12. I praised myself for praising myself for making my bed this morning.
13. When my cell phone went through the washing machine, I didn't overeat, I called the cell phone company.
14. I remembered to send my brother a birthday card.***
15. I got my blog entry done this week.