...And Starring Poe as "Herself"

My friend Susan W. and I call each other “Identical Cousins” after the long-ago Patty Duke Show. Even though Susan and I are no relation, we truly do “look alike, walk alike and even talk alike.”

We are also great philosophers. You’ve heard “If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?” Susan and I came up with a much better question, listed here in two parts:

1)What if your life is actually a situation comedy and an audience you can’t see or hear is laughing at all the things you take so seriously?

Consider: Perhaps your audience is talking right now—“Did you see the (Your Name) Show this week? Wasn’t that hilarious when the car wouldn’t start?” “And what about that big fight with the next-door neighbor? ha ha ha!”

I’m serious. I really think that happens. Or if not, it should.

A typical episode for me (from 1997):

I was on jury duty and the day’s proceedings had run late. By the time they dismissed us, the courthouse was closing up. I decided to stop off first and use the jury room bathroom. I heard someone walking around outside, but I didn’t pay much attention. A few minutes later, when I tried to leave the bathroom, the door wouldn't open.

“Oh no!” I thought, “The janitor locked me in. I’ll be trapped all night!” I started screaming, “Help!” pounding on the door, shaking the knob and… the door opened on its own. I’d been pushing it the wrong way.

As I walked out, cops and bailiffs came running, guns drawn, down the hall towards the jury room. I had to tell them, “Heh heh. Thought I was locked in the bathroom. Never mind.”

Talk about humiliating. All night I berated myself. How could I have been so stupid?

But next morning I thought, “Who am I reminding myself of?” The answer--my Aunt Thelma. Stuff like my jury room incident is always happening to her. The problem is, my mother has never liked Aunt Thelma, and always holds Thelma up as the queen of losers.

Now I realized, “Wait a minute—I love Thelma. I don’t care if she’s goofy.” That’s when I vowed to be as loving and kind to myself as I am with my aunt. Life-changing experience. Closing Credits.


The second half of our philosphical question offers the only downside:
2) What happens to you when your show is cancelled?

I say keep your ratings up--have lots of awful, embarrassing moments.