How the Grimke's Changed My Life

I talked last time about Sarah and Angelina Grimke, patron saints of Courage to speak the truth, even if everyone else thinks you’re stupid or a nut case.

Most great men and women were considered stupid nut cases in their own time.

“And in the naked light I saw ten thousand people maybe more.
People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening. People writing songs that voices never shared. No one dared disturb the sounds of silence.”


MY SUBMISSION FOR STUPID NUTCASE:

Our culture says that, in order to be good people, we must always berate ourselves, never praise ourselves.

But all that ever did was set my self-esteem at zero

When anybody ever criticized me or disagreed with me, I’d beat myself up, “You see? You're wrong. You can’t do anything right.”

In honor of the Grimke's I've decided to do the unthinkable:

Every morning I think of 50 positive things about myself. And during the day I look for ways to affirm myself: “Good job making that left turn, Poe. I like the way you slow down to let people pass.”

Has it made a difference?

One example:

Our thirty-year old pressure cooker drips a little water from the gasket. I’m too cheap to replace it. This drives my husband crazy.

A few weeks ago I was cooking some rice when he came in and gave me the Dreaded Superiority Glare. Pointing to the pressure cooker, he said, “We live in a desert. We need to conserve. Look at all the water you’re wasting.”

Normally I would cringe with shame.

I said, “You want to talk about conservation? You waste a lot more when you brush your teeth with the water running.”

He scoffed, “It’s only a trickle.”

I said, “Even a trickle wastes a lot more than the pressure cooker.”

Triumph!

(The next day I happened to go in the bathroom while he was brushing his teeth. He had the water running full blast. I was sorely tempted to say, “Just a trickle, eh?” But I asked myself, “Would you rather be happy or would you rather lord things over your husband?” I just gave him a kiss and went on my way.)